


Drinking Games

by brotherfuckers



Series: Striderclan [74]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Incest, M/M, Sex Toys, Sibling Incest, Smuppets, Stridercest - Freeform, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 17:42:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brotherfuckers/pseuds/brotherfuckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The guardians make the wise decision to have a drinking game between the two of them that ends up with Dave briefly between them and then with Bro cheating his way to a win which involves a new toy and lots of dirty talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drinking Games

**Author's Note:**

> For more information please check out our work at striderclan.tumblr.com; we have more stories, head canons, art/pictures.

"Oi, D! Be a dear and get me a drink will ya?" Bro stretches out on the couch, shoving his feet into Dave's lap with a squawk of complaint from the younger Strider.

D, already rooting around in the kitchen looking for an apple beverage that isn't made of katanas or shurikens, doesn’t look up at the request. "What kind of drink?" He nearly knocks over some precarious blades, "and is it easier to get to than this damned apple juice?"

"Prolly? We gotta have somethin' o'er there. Feel like I robbed the liquor store last time I was there. A better question would be what don't we got? Just make me somethin' special, ya lightweight."

"Excuse me? Well then, why don't I just poor us some rum and coke and let you enjoy that- oh wait, that's right, you are a pansy and can't drink rum. Let me just get you a smirnoff ice, you delicate flower."

The look Bro gives over the back of couch could make milk go sour, but it's wasted as D continues to root through the assorted weapons. Dave intelligently holds back any comment or reaction. "I could drink ya under the table. Bring anythin' ya find o'er there and we'll see how terribly sloshed you are in a minute." Under his breath, "I know better than to buy any damn rum."

D emerges with some good vodka and a bottle of ginger ale from the fridge area and picks up some shot glasses and regular glasses for mixing drinks on his way out. "Challenge fucking accepted. Dave, you're the judge…actually no Dirk you're the judge Dave is too easy to persuade with the promise of a rough fucking." D sets everything down on the coffee table and sits down to start pouring the first shots. "What are the stakes in this challenge then, Derrick?" He knows he's talking a big game but damn seeing Bro get riled is fun.

"Well, Richard," Bro snarls the name out, "Let's take this as we would a strife. 'Cept it's gonna be a fair one because ya ain't got no way to cheat. Which means I'm gonna win. And I want ya ass up on the futon ready to be fucked. Maybe pre-stretched with a smuppet. Oh yea, I like that idea," Bro hums to himself.

D keeps himself from shivering at the image and puts on his best game face, "Well you are just going to have to wait see for that happy ending. Loss will be either by surrender, inability to take the next drink, or judge overrule." He pours them each a shot of the vodka and holds one out to Bro, "Cheers brother mine."

"Cheers, fucker." Bro takes his shot and chinks the glasses together before they down them at the same time with twin exhaled gasps as the alcohol burns down their throats. Bro's eyes twitches a bit but he manages to keep a straight face as he sets the shot glass down on the table in front of them.

D hisses on his next inhale but keeps his poker face mostly intact beyond a slight lip curl. "Trade off on choice every two turns?" He would say every turn, but this keeps them from having to get up as often. D pours one part vodka into a glass and two parts ginger ale. "Next two turns are your poison of choice." He hands one glass to Bro and raises it to clink together before drinking it a bit slower.

"Sounds fair," Bro drinks down half of his mixed drink before breathing. He gives Dave what he thinks is a winning smile and rubs his foot against his lap. When he doesn't get much of a reaction except for a heavy sigh, he scowls.

D finishes off his drink quickly while keeping Bro in his peripheral vision. He twists to the side as Bro goes to grab D with intentions of pulling him into his lap. He manages to set down the glass on the table all the same, "Oi! You have to win first to get the prize Bro. This was to be a drinking match not a-," D stumbles a bit over his words as the alcohol starts to hit him, "not, not a game to see if you can cheat your way to victory by making me horny and promising dirty things if I surrender. I thought you didn't need to cheat Big Bad Bro."

"Fine, fine." Bro downs the rest of his drink and then reaches out again, grabbing his younger brother instead who slips out of his grasp by sliding out of his t-shirt. Bro smirks at the glare he gets before flashstepping to the kitchen. He's pretty sure he knows where everything is as he reaches into the cabinets blindly. His hands find the familiar bottles and he pulls them out with a grin. He flashes back to the futon with a leer. He doesn't spill a drop despite his flourishes as he fills the shot glasses with butterscotch liqueur and irish creme. The regular glasses get another ginger ale, vodka mix (maybe a bit more heavy on the vodka in D's). "May your nipples always taste better than even these Buttery Nipples," he toasts.

D is a little more disoriented than he'd like to admit by all of the sudden movement but he snorts at Bro's toast anyways. "Dork," he murmurs as he lifts the shot glass and cheers before downing it, barely able to keep his face despite the sweet taste. He is so losing it isn't even funny. He leans against Dave as he picks up the next glass and sniffs at it a little suspiciously and takes a sip and grimaces, "You made them stronger this round…" He looks at Bro's drink. "Or maybe did you just make mine stronger?" He's not sure really, maybe it's just the burning in his cheeks and buzzing filling him up.

"Why would I need to do that, bro? Scared?"

"Psssshh," he tilts his glass back and drinks the rest of it in a few gulps despite the urge to grimace or splutter. "There is nothing you could do that is as scary as a hollywood cougar tracking you through a party with intent to sink her claws into this premium rump." He stands to get the next round and stumbles and curses at the mistake. He rummages a bit less gracefully and comes out with some honey whiskey. He frowns as a pair of pants are tossed over the back of the futon. He plops down in between Dave and Bro before Bro can shuck the remaining boxers off his younger brother. Bro’s predatory leer switches to D instead, sending shivers up his spine. D manages to ward off any more touches by swinging the bottle in front of Bro’s face, reminding him of the competition.

D pours the next round of shots. He spills a couple drops here and there but manages to also pour the next round of ginger ale and whiskey as well before raising the shot in toast.

"Fucker you did put more in my drink I can, I can tell,” he frowns as he watches his hand sway in the space between them.

“Again with the accusations. I’m hurt, D.”

“Yeah, you are positively suffering. You, you…” he trails off and looks at the drink in his hand and takes the shot. Through a grimace that he doesn’t hide at all he murmurs, “You douchenozzle.”

“That the best ya got?” Bro takes his shot, breathing heavily at the burn in his throat. He shakes his head and then slams the shot glass down on the table. “Ya dumbbutt asslord.”

A mostly naked Dave appears between them before they can reach for the other drinks, holding two glasses. “I’m calling intermission.” The two guardians look at him blankly. “Drink this before you go back to destroying your livers.” He presses the glasses into their hands and tips them up to their lips. Bro scoffs and pulls his hand away to drink the water down. It takes the edge bumping against D’s mouth before he starts taking action on his own.

“This shit is weak as hell. What’d’ya put in here?” Bro asks, squinting up at Dave.

“Wow. I’m not even sure I should answer that one.”

Bro misses his answer entirely as he contemplates pantsing Dave.

But D gets to him first. Dave squawks at the unexpected attack which leaves him open for Bro pulling him into his lap, his ass landing solidly on Bro’s thigh. D wastes no time leaning in mouth first, going after the sensitive smooth skin of his hips. Dave’s squirms don’t help him get out of Bro’s grip holding him in place and eventually they just become ruts against D's chest as he kisses, licks, sucks, and bites every part of Dave.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Goddamn, D, such a fuckin' tease." Just when it looks like D is about to actually start sucking Dave, Bro is pulling him back and rearranging them so he is now sitting sideways on the futon with one leg tucked up against the back, one leg on the floor, and Dave's ass nestled against the bulge in his jeans. D takes that as an invitation to start the process all over again. Dave strains against the grip Bro has on his wrists when all he wants is to grab D's head and shove it down where it's supposed to go!

Bro snickers at Dave's struggles and whines and just shifts the arm locked over Dave chest enough where he can finger a sensitive nipple to tease Dave even further.

"No! Fuck no! Please!"

"Aren't you guys supposed to be having a drinking contest?" Dirk cuts in sounding bored from his seat at the desk. "Because right now you both are just horny fucking losers who are only slightly intoxicated."

"Ya wanna go, punk?"

"Do I need to get you a sippy cup, old man? Because last time I checked, Dave's cum wasn't alcoholic, no matter how hard you suck on his straw, D."

"Plus, y-you'll just pass out a-and leave me to- fuck! - to bad sex if this keeps up. Oh god! At least, your dick kept up that time," Dave tries to goad, his affect ruined by the gasps each time D swirls his tongue around the head of his cock.

"We ain't gonna pass out." Bro leans over, nearly taking Dave off the couch as well, and grabs the drinks. "D, stop your cock munching and drink up." Hazy red eyes look up at Bro over Dave's shoulder and then narrow at the glass being shoved in his direction. Dave holds back the whimper at the loss of D's mouth as he finally got it where it was supposed to be.

"But Dave tastes better." D still reaches for the glass and drinks it. Bro makes sure to pace himself against his brother this time because Dave did have a point and he remembers the sore jaw he got from that time.

"Hey, Dave, why don't you get these lightweights something stronger while you're up?" Dirk suggests. "I haven't even seen the tequila yet."

It takes Dave a moment to parse through Dirk's bland tone to realize his brother is providing him an escape. Then another moment to decide if he really wants to escape. But he catches Dirk's eyes and the suggestive glance to their bedroom and realizes that sober Dirk dick is a better gamble than drunken guardian dicks. And with that thought he actually manages to slip out of their grips with a "One bottle of tequila coming right up."

Bro and D finish off their drinks at the same time and the glasses are precariously returned to the table. Then Bro realizes that there is no longer a teenager between them.

"Hey-" Suddenly there is a bottle of tequila dangling in front of his face. "Oi." He blinks at it a couple times before grabbing it.

"Wha's that?" D slurs out down at Bro's waist, still draped out over the edge of the futon.

"A treat."

"I want treat."

"Su-" Bro stops as he comes up with a better plan. "Then come get the treat, D. C'mon and get it," Bro taunts, holding the bottle above his head.

"Want it." D pouts. And then he somewhat lunges upward at Bro, caught up on his long legs. Then he remembers how to use them and pushes himself up off the ground and entirely onto the futon and onto Bro. Bro holds the bottle back for another second before suddenly flipping their positions on the futon.

D let's out a startled noise as he finds himself on his back with Bro leaning heavily on him between his legs. The pressure feels good and D forgets what he was going after in favor of writhing up under Bro, grinding their hips together. Bro lets him for a while, enjoying the friction even with their jeans. D's sloppy kisses to his throat are nice as well, but he's reminded of the tequila in his hand when he tastes the whiskey on D's lips.

"Open up, big bro, I got your treat for ya." He opens the top of the bottle with his teeth as his other arm is busy propping himself up over his squirming brother.

"Bro, Bro, fu-" D's mouth is shoved a bit wider by the neck of the bottle and he actually manages to swallow down the mouthful if liquid instead of choking on it. He has no time to protest before Bro is leaning down and licking the excess tequila off. D gets another shot and another kiss.

"Bro!"

"Do ya submit yet?" He doesn't wait for an answer before he is pouring another shot.

D splutters and gasps when he's allowed another breath. "Fuck yes. I submit. Please. Please! Oh god. I need you to fuck me. Derrick! You promised. You said you'd stretch me out! Please!"

Bro pauses and stares down at his flushed brother. D has his eyes closed as he arches up, pulling on his clothes, and grinds against Bro with abandon.

"Wow, D. What a whore."

"Please please, god, Bro! I need something, I need you, I need anything!"

"I got just the thing," Bro finally answers. D whines as Bro climbs off. "I'll be right back, princess, dontcha worry. Just get yourself naked for me."

"Bro," D's whine is pitiful but doesn't deter Bro from his stumble across the room.

"I said I wanted ya ass up, din I? So get to it and you'll get your prize." Bro snatches up a bottle of lube and the yellow smuppet that he's thinking of. He runs his hands quickly over it and finds it clean and a quick squeeze finds it in working order. When he turns back to the futon, he finds D naked, ass up, and obviously trying not to grind against the pillow he's using to keep from touching himself. Bro feels pride as how good he has his brothers trained.

D sighs in relief when Bro places a gentle hand on his ass as he slips onto the futon behind his brother. "Oh Bro, please, fuck me, fill me, oh fucking please."

"Course, D." Bro doesn't hesitate before opening the lube and drizzling some onto his fingers, letting some drip down into D's waiting ass. D doesn't even flinch at the cold, he just presses another whimper into the cushions. Bro's fingers soon follow, pressing against him and then into him. The alcohol is making D relaxed enough that Bro has no trouble working two fingers in quickly. It doesn't take long for a third to slip in as well.

"Bro, Bro, Bro, fuck yes. More, more please."

"Goddamn, such an impatient bitch, ain't ya? Don'y worry, luv, I'ma fill ya up nicely. Got just the thing for ya."

"Give it to me. Give it. Fuck me. Fuck me!"

Bro pulls out his fingers and picks up the smuppet. D's ass sways invitingly as Bro lubes up the long curved nose. D sighs happily again as Bro teases the tip against his entrance. And then he's pushing and it's sliding in and D is arching his back against it, loving how it deep it is going and how good it feels to have something inside of him. It doesn't feel that thick though and he's about to protest to Bro as Bro promised he would be stretched and D wants to be stretched so badly.

He must have been whining at the back of his throat because Bro is leaning over comforting him and telling him to hold on, it'll get better. Then he hears the distinctive squeak-honk that some of the smuppet toys have and that Bro uses to startle his brothers, especially Dave, and then he feels it. It's slight but distinct. The smuppet's nose inside of him just got bigger, wider.

Bro squeezes the plush rump again with another squeak-honk and another pump of air is forced into the nose, stretching the material out even as D clenches down around it. Bro slides it in and out of D a couple times before squeezing again.

"Fuck, yes, more! More!"

"I got ya, D. I got ya." Bro alternates between fucking D with the enlarging toy and adding more girth to it, slowly working D farther and farther open, filling him up so perfectly like he had begged. Bro watches his brother carefully, watching as D rocks back and forth with the fucking, watching the skin tight around the toy stretch and move with each thrust. He’s impressed with how much D can take. He might even push the toy to its limits before D is done.

“More!”

“Li’l whore is bein’ pretty demandin’, ain’t ya, D? It’s already pretty big and stretchin’ ya out and you are sluttily callin’ for more. Let’s just see how much your hungry ass can take. You’ve already let Dirk and I fuck ya together so you can take one li’l toy, can’t ya, D?”

Bro does just that alternating thrusts with squeezes, making sure to fill it when it is deepest inside of D just to hear him moan so beautifully.

“Ya sound so damn fantastic, D. Moanin’ like a porn star. Takin’ cock like a pro. Ya sure ya shoot the films out in Hollywood instead of starin’ in them? Ya sure ya don’t have your own porn studio set up where you’re the perfect bottom bitch for anyone who comes knockin’? You’d be perfect for that. You’d love that, wouldn’t ya, D?”

He gives the smuppet one last squeeze, feeling the toy push excess air back out. Then D is suddenly shaking and his moans drop off into silent gasping screams as he comes. Bro is hazily surprised that D was so close to the edge. But then again, the smuppet was at its maximum and stretching his brother out so very deliciously. Bro is still holding onto it as D collapses down bonelessly onto the futon, pulling it halfway out intentionally. Bro huffs a laugh at his brother before sliding it all the way out, admiring the size for a moment before deflating it back down to normal.

D simply quivers on the cushions, uncaring that he is laying on top of his own mess. The alcohol and pleasure are making his head swim and unable to do anything but make moans in between breaths. After Bro tosses the smuppet at the laundry, he looks down at his brother and finds him so pitiful that he almost takes mercy and just curls up with him. But then as he moves he remembers the aching boner still in his pants.

“Huh. Now what to do ‘bout that?” He looks down at D who really doesn’t look like he’s up to much. Then back down to the boner in his pants. “Well, fuck.”

He gets off the futon and strips down out of his clothes, glancing over at the twins’ room but the door is closed and they were rude anyways. Who needs them. Not Bro, that’s for sure. Once nude he looks back at D who hasn’t moved at all yet. Carefully he gets back onto the futon, hovering over D.

“Hey, big bro. Hey, D, Dicky, Richard. Hey, bro. Earth to director. Ya still breathin’?”

“Murr.”

“Can I fuck ya? Can I have ya?”

“Murr.” Bro frowns at the same non-answer.

“D. D, please.”

“Murr.”

“That’s not a yes, D. That’s not even a no. That’s zombie. Do I look like a zomb translator? No. I don’t. I look like a guy in need to get off.”

“Murr.”

“Fuckin’ hell, D. So help me, D, I will dunk you in a cold shower. Or we can move to plan nine, but ya won’t like the fire escape plan, D.”

“Nnnmurr.”

Bro drops his head against D’s. His erection still going as strong as his buzz.

“Okay, ya got two options. Either I’m ruttin’ against your ass now, ya lazy bum, or ya can flip over and I use your pretty mouth.”

D nods. “Murr murr.”

“Oh my dear fuck. What does that mean?”

Then D is squirming underneath Bro and Bro lets him up a bit. D takes advantage of the space to flip over, but not before grinding his ass against Bro’s erection until he gets a couple growls in his ear. Bro’s eyes narrow down at D as he settles back down. Bro swears that there is a sparkle of drunken mischief in his eye, and then he wonders about how much drink they’ve had.

“Okay maybe I was playing it up a bit,” D starts, slurring his words a little bit, “But you’re an asshole and a cheat and you deserve it, Bro.”

“I just gave ya a mind blowin’ orgasm just like ya asked, like ya begged me for.”

“Mister pouring my drunks stronger and shove a bottle of tequila into my mouth.”

“Nice grammar there, D. I’ll shove somethin’ else into your mouth.” D yelps as he’s suddenly pulled down farther on the couch, nearly lined up with Bro’s waist. Bro glances down at him and sees D making a squishy lip face back at him, head bent back against the couch. “The fuck?”

“Do your worst.”

“Oh my ever lovin’ fuck.” Bro reaches down and grabs D’s hair and pushes and pulls his face into position to take his cock, still hard and bobbing somehow. It’s Bro’s turn to sigh in relief though as D’s mouth wraps around him. With a hand still in D’s hair, Bro tests moving his hips a bit and finds D enthusiastic. D sucks him down and flicks his tongue around his head just as he was doing to Dave earlier. Bro gets a little looser with his control, but it seems like the alcohol has killed D’s gag reflex and Bro fucks down into his throat, coming up often to let him breathe, but still enjoying the tightness that D provides with each swallow.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Take it, bitch. You cock whore. Can’t get enough, can ya? Suckin’ any dick that gets close to your mouth. Lettin’ monster cocks fuck your ass. Hell, ya beg for the big ones. The bigger the better, right? Shoulda just fucked your hole. Woulda been nice and stretched for me. Goddamn, I bet you’re gettin’ off again, ain’t ya? Such a li’l slut.”

D moans around Bro’s cock, the vibrations getting caught in his throat and making Bro’s hips stutter.

“Oh fuck, hell yeah, do that again. Moan for me, Dicky, moan like the bitch you are.”

D reaches up and grabs Bro’s hips, pulling Bro down and himself up a bit off the cushions to get more of Bro’s cock in his mouth. His moans are stifled every time Bro fills his throat and echo around the room when he’s not taking a breath. Bro gets rougher under D’s direction, giving it to him as he apparently wants.

“Shit, shit, shit! Ah! Close, I’m close, D.”

One of the hands that was on Bro’s ass disappears and Bro can hear the faint slap of skin as D apparently beats himself off to his second orgasm. The thought of which doesn’t help Bro hold back his current one.

“D, ya slut. Goin’ back for seconds. Ya greedy li’l bitch. Should get Dirk ‘n Dave out here to fuck ya too. Fuck ya together. The only way they’d- they’d fill your stretched ass. Fuck!” Bro’s hips slam forward, pressing D into the cushions as he comes. The hand at his hip pushes him back enough to keep from crushing D after the first burst, pushes him until just the tip of his dick is in D’s mouth, lips wrapped tightly around him as D sucks on him for every drop. D doesn’t let him up until he is gasping and twitching with his own orgasm.

Bro falls to the side, reaching over the back of the futon to drop it down. He tosses D’s stained pillow away and finds a clean one before pulling D all the way up onto the futon where he can share the pillow with Bro. This time D’s bonelessness is accompanied with snores that not even Bro’s tugging interrupts. Bro flops against him with one arm thrown over D’s waist and head nestled against his shoulder before he too drops into sleep.

* * *

“Are they still alive?”

“Yeah. Somehow.”

“Okay, I’ll get the blankets. You get the drinks.”

“Jesus, did they have to pull out every bottle?”

“I think there is some kahlua and cognac they didn’t get to.”

“Only because they got distracted by your twink ass.”

“Shut up. Here, set the pills next to the water glasses. They’ll need them tomorrow.”

“Hit the blinds.”

“Aw, fuck. Come on. One of them came on the pillow. You know they are going to make us wash that.”

“When do they not. The smuppet’s going to need cleaning to.”

“Hey, don’t listen to Bro when he says handwash only. I read the fucking website.”

“You visited the site.”

“Put that fucking eyebrow down.”

* * *

The apartment is dark when Bro dares to crack an eye open. Glancing around, he sees four glasses of water helpfully sitting on the table. Now he just has to get to them with an older brother drooling on his chest in the way.

“D. Get the fuck up and drink some water.” Bro never said anything about doing it without waking the goober up.

“Wha? Oh. Oh fuck. Ow. Water. Cotton mouth.”

“Actually pretty sure it’s literal halitosis at his point.”

“What?”

“Dick breath.”

“Oh fuck you.”

“Water’s on the table.” D turns over and grabs a glass. Bro grabs one when he sits up to drink it. “And actually I think you still owe me a fuck.”

“What?”

“I won last night and you owe me a fuck.”

“You know I actually won that drinking game right?” D glares at Bro. “Because I took three more shots that you poured down my throat.”

“Heh.”

D smacks Bro on the back of the head, finishes his water and then turns over, taking all of the blankets with him to go sleep some more.


End file.
